Do You Know How to Annoy a Legendary Guardian?
by Crazy-Lemon-Lady
Summary: Rikku does! Will have hints of Aurikku later but not that much in case you're not a fan. Supposed to be funny but I have a low self esteem. Rated T for future swearing Abandoned-to be rewritten
1. Prologue

**A/N Just a prologue for now. Anyone have any good al bhed names? Review if you do!**

Prologue

I had asked if I could explore Gualdosalam while we had some free time. No one cared, really. Not because they didn't care but because they didn't seem to have any energy left. The mission had just begun for me and I was excited and bouncing off the walls.

Auron ended up coming with me because he still had energy left. "So…" I started. This was really one of the first times I talked to him. I probably had said 10 words to him in my life. "Shouldn't you be with Yunie?" I asked. He seemed the strictest about the guardian duties, maybe tied with Lulu.

"I could ask you the same thing," he replied, and my eyes shifted downwards. He was right. 10 minutes on the clock and she hasn't been acting like a very good guardian.

"Yah, but you always were like super strict guardian man!" It wasn't a very good reply but it was all I had. He looked at me like I was crazy. His eyes didn't like bug out or anything be he had that, "I think I'm better/smarter/stronger then you look." All condescending you know?

"Oooh, look, a library!" I squealed. Unknown to Auron were the many sides to me. I rushed in with him seemingly reluctantly following behind me. "What?" I asked, "Is the great big legendary guardian afraid of books?" He looked deeply annoyed

He looked deeply annoyed. "No, but you have the attention span of a gnat," was his feeble comeback, I'm not kidding. I rolled my eyes at him.

I picked a random book off a shelf, The History of Spira; I opened it and started to read aloud, "In the yea-," he cut me off right there.

"No one wants to hear it, Rikku." I looked at him. Did he think I was stupid?

"Were the only two people here," Now _I _looked at him like _he_ was crazy.

"Fine, I don't want to hear it," was his response. This guy did have a short fuse. He seemed easy to tease. I knew now that whenever I had time, I would see how many ways I could make him blow his fuse. I could probably get Tidus to join in sometimes.

I laughed, maybe a little darkly, "Auron this is the start of a beautiful relationship." Well beautiful for me, a little annoying for him. He looked at me like I was crazy again.

**A/N Thanks for reading review please! This is my first story so my self esteem is low, constructive criticism is nice but only if it is well intentioned**

**-Katie**

**A/N-again- Anyone coming to this story, I know, it's bad. I will probably re-write it soon. Be patient with me, okay? Anyone who actually liked it, thanks for your support. Anyone getting ready to flame, don't worry, it's taken care of.**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N Why didn't you review? **** I know 17 people read this story… Maybe it was just always Laura… Now the Al Bhed chapter will come all that later. I'm blaming you! (Was my story really that bad?)**

**Re-done first paragraph because Fruity-Fruit-Cups mentioned that the first****couple paragraph was in third person and the rest of the chapters were in first person.**

Chapter 1

My first opportunity to tease Auron came very quickly. Contrary to popular belief there is around a half a day walk in between Guadosalam and the Thunder Plains. We were stopping for lunch on this hike when I made my move. I walked up to Auron who was sitting off to the side of everyone else like he usually did, as far as Rikku could tell.

I went up to talk to him; this game was a very going to be a simple one, I was going to fire very strange and random questions quickly and see how he reacts. This was a sort of gauge for me to see what I would have to do to get him to react later too. I started talking rocking back in forth on my heels and then putting pressure on my different feet, bouncing from one foot to another. "So… Auron, what are you doing?" As far as I could tell he was either sharpening or polishing his sword.

"What does it look like?" He asked. I guess he was one of those people who valued alone time or something.

I bent over half way so her face was at the same level as his, "I don't know, that's why I'm asking." I rolled my eyes, and sat down next to him. "What's your favorite color?" I asked.

He just ignored me. We sat there in awkward silence for a bit. "So… What's your middle name?" He ignored me again. Some people must have thought I was crazy. I could ask a legendary guardian anything and I was asking him stupid questions. "Will I ever get an answer?" I asked. He was probably relieved that this time it was a serious question.

"Probably not," was all he had to say in reply. I heard from Lulu that we were leaving.

I jumped to my feet, turned around and told him, "Well I'm not going to stop until I get an answer!" And I ran off up to everyone else. We were walking for around ten minutes until I hung back to where Auron was.

"Hello," I said. We walked in silence for a while. We were walking for about a total of ten minutes in silence when I started firing questions again. I asked him everything I could think of. I started with favorite things. Books, colors (again), food, day, season, weather, pastime. After that I couldn't think of any more favorites.

"So… Not going to answer anything?" I asked. We were nearing the Thunder Plains now and I wanted to be done with this before we got there.

He just shook his head. Man, this guy says less than a fiend!

I turned around after hearing a noise and look behind us and saw a mech guard ready to attack. Auron started to unsheathe his weapon and everyone turned around ready to battle. "Hold on," I told them "Allow me."

I jumped forward fast before the Machina could strike, stole one of its parts and it collapsed to the ground in pieces, and I rummaged through the pile for any parts that might come on handy later for upgrading weapons. I turned around after I was done and saw everyone looking at me in awe. "Um, guys, is there something behind me making you all pull those funny faces or…"

Tidus was the first one to talk, "Wow! You took down that Mech Guard in one hit! Those guys used to take us forever! How did you know how to do that?"

I stared sheepishly at the floor, "Mechanics have always kinda been my thing…" I trailed of in the ending. Everyone but Wakka looked impressed. We continued onward and for a while I walked with Tidus and Yunie but I wasn't done with my pestering so I again hung back and waited until I was walking side by side with Auron.

"Are you impressed?" I asked allowing smugness to creep into my voice.

"Yes, I am," he replied, stoic as always

"Are you going to answer a question now?" I asked. He turned looked at me like he was about to one-up me.

"I just did." He said. I started bouncing up in down in frustration.

"That doesn't count! I call a redo!" I started spit-firing questions getting faster and faster and louder and louder and faster and faster. Not even really remembering what I was saying really after a while I guess I got on everyone's nerves because they all turned around and told me to shut up.

I never did get a response from Auron.

**Another A/N! Wow! I think I might discontinue this story if I don't get any reviews because I don't really think it will work out. I don't care if thunder spells can quickly dispatch a Mech Guard or that there really isn't a half day walk in between Guadosalam and the Thunder Plains, If I get like, 3 good reviews I might continue it. That isn't a threat or anything. This story is just iffy. **

** -Katie**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N Wow! I'm here again, mostly 'cause someone reviewed and like, it made me happy, and so… yah! I am going to dedicate this chapter to Laura (for reasons she will understand when she reads this) and to the people who reviewed the first chapters. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Mostly because there were only two people who did review! (Was that creepy?) ****On with the story! (sidenote:I hate this chapter, you can skip it if you want Also the A/N are going to get stranger) **

* * *

We were all walking through Macalania Woods. I was getting really bored. That meant one thing and one thing only. It was time for me to play my game yet again. I didn't tease Auron at all when we were in the Thunder Plains mostly because I spent all my time cowering in fear.

This game might need a little explaining. It really has no name in itself but the basic rules are very simple. The rules are there are no rules. There are more questions in this game. Have you ever seen the detective sphere shows that are really dramatic? You pretend you're a detective and lawyer in one of those shows. It sounds lame but is a really fun game, and the end result is hilarious!

So like I said, we were walking in Macalania Woods and I walked up in front of Auron and started walking backwards so I was facing him. "So, Auron, if that is your real name." I said in an accusing tone.

Everyone kind of ignored this. I guess they all realized that it was the best thing they could do was to ignore me when I decided to goof off like this. Auron also ignored me, imagine that.

"Hm… You're denying your name… That is very suspicious, right Tidus?" I elbowed him in the side, trying to get him to join in the game.

"What?" He turned around. I could tell he didn't understand what I was doing. I whispered something in his ear.

"It's a game," His eyes lit up in understanding. We both stopped walking huddled off to the side and made a game plan.

We went on like this for a while questioning Auron about a lot of strange things. Tidus and I were having a lot of fun; we were laughing and then questioned Yuna about Auron too. We all seemed to get into it.

In the end Auron mostly stayed silent, he ended up near the front.

"Auron! Auron!" I called after him but he kept walking, "You know what you did! You'll go to hell for this!"

Yuna started walking next to me and asked, "What did he do that was so bad?"

I responded with, "Nothing it's just fun to tease him."

* * *

**ME: See? Wasn't that crap?**

**Some Random person: Yah it was**

**Me: *Sad Face* Anyway I chose that instead of writting some random Al Bhed that I was going to use in the next chapter I am going to use a different guy... You will see**

**SRP: Go Away**

**Me: Ok... *goes and crys in corner* Now go on to the next chapter (if it exists yet)**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: I've been meaning to write forever, I really have! Though I started *looks around shamefully* reading, uh, Rippal fics… No reviews about abandoning the Aurikku sisterhood (cos most fanfic readers are girls, hence sisterhood) but I've come back now, though I had to completely re-write this chapter cos the OC I made could of easily been replaced by Gippal, as you will see. **

**A/N that explains chapter: So in this chapter Rikku annoys Auron without meaning to BUM BUM BUM! (See how short my author note would have been if I had written earlier?) Also this chapter is AU a little too.**

We were all walking in the Calm Lands and I was bored, like really super duper amazingly bored. I was out of ideas though. I'm so creative aren't I? I came up with like two ideas before I've run dry. I was beating myself up about it in my head, not it a schizophrenic way or anything, when I heard something, it was faint at first, and it was like someone calling someone else. It got louder, and then I realized it was… my name.

Then it stopped so I decided that I was going to just forget it, I was bored so I might have been imagining it. Did I mention that I was really bored? Whatever I just thought it was really stra- then I was tackled to the ground from behind, not kidding. Who decided to singlehandedly take on a group five guardians and their summoner needed to get a hobby of something, like for real, not going on their top five list of great ideas.

Of course I had it taken care of. I mean come on; you think one thug could take me down. Fast as light (kind of) I flipped over and had my claw at his throat. Then, I stopped.

"Rikku, what's going on?" Lulu asked, "Are you ok?" I was guessing they weren't leaping to my aid because they thought I had it under control, hopefully. I could totally knock this guy out and leave him on the side of the road if I really wanted to. The thing is, I didn't want to.

I leaped up, my boredom was gone. I leaped up "OH MY GOD!" That seemed to kind of freak out everyone. I helped the guy up to his feet. I turned back to the group and introduced the kid. "This is Aki, he was my boyfriend from back at Home," (**A/N BUM BUM BUM! This=AU sorry if you don't like it I apologize it's something I'm trying out) **everyone looked a little, surprised, I guess, at this. I was a little insulted at this. They don't think I can have a boyfriend? Well then, I'll show them. "Can he come with us until we get to the zoo, please?" I begged. I looked to Yuna and pouted a bit, I tried to look really sweet and a little desperate. I have it down to an art, it's not like I manipulate people or anything.

"It should be ok, if he doesn't hold us back," Yuna glanced at Auron, who nodded just a tiny bit, then Yuna looked surer of herself. "Aki you can come." I rolled my eyes, just a tiny bit, I swear! But really? You need his permission? YOU"RE the summoner Yuna!

I turned to Aki, "Can you come? Please? Pretty Please?" I was close to getting on my hand and knees and begging, I wasn't even sure he made it out of home alive! He just laughed and nodded, god the others probably thought this kid couldn't talk. Though he did speak Al Bhed better then he spoke Spiran.

After that we kept on moving, we were talking in Al Bhed, because like I said he spoke it better, weren't you listening? I started the conversation.

"Cu ruf tet oui cinjeja Home paehk yddylgat?" (So how did you survive Home being attacked?) I asked, "Fa kud yfyo uh Bubc yencreb pid E drehg E fuimt ryja hudelat oui drana," (We got away on Pop's airship but I think I would have noticed you there.)

He looked at me like I was crazy. Actually a lot of people do that… He usually doesn't though because frankly, if I'm crazy so is he. "Fryd?" (What?)

"E tuh'd kad y rammu?" (I don't get a hello?) I rolled my eyes at him, wow, cos knowing why he was alive is so not as important as saying hi.

"E'mm cyo rammu mydan," (I'll say hello later) and then I winked. I was just teasing him, honest! I smile crept onto his face. I had to shove him, so I did. "Dryd, fyc y zuga," Wow, some people. Or guys. Yah it's just guys I think. I will never fully understand them I think.

"Ruf tet oui kad uid uv Home?" (How did you get out of home?) I rolled my eyes at him. "Yht yhcfan sa drec desa!" (And answer me this time!)

"E fyc dnyjamehk y meddma ped, E fyc naymmo milgo dryd E fyc kuha frah ed fyc, is, oui ghuf, pmufh ib po ouin tyt. Fryd ypuid oui? Oui mavd du gethyb Oihy yht oui hajan lysa pylg, cu huf ouina y kiynteyh? Ruft dryd rybbah?" (I was traveling a little bit, I was really lucky that I was gone when it was, um, you know, blown up by your dad. What about you? You left to kidnap Yuna and you never came back, so now you're a guardian? How'd that happen?)

So I told him, the whole story so far. How when the captured failed I decided that I could protect Yunie and see if I could get her to stop then. How we visited Guadosalam and got to go into the maester's house, I assured him it was before the Guado blew up Home, and how Seymour proposed to Yuna. How I had to cross the Thunder Plains. He cringed at that one, he knew I was afraid of lightning. How Macalania Woods seemed like heaven after that. And how we you know, uh, killed a Maester. He told me he heard we were outlaws but he wasn't quite sure why… now he knows. How we fell into a giant frozen lake, and then appeared in the middle of the Sanubia Desert. How we watched Home be destroyed from the air. How we crashed a wedding of a dead Maester and my cousin. How we were thrown into a giant sewer area and then escaped from Bevelle then killed Seymour AGAIN, after he killed Maester Kinoc. Then we hid out in the woods and came here.

Every time I mentioned someone from the group they turned to look at me, they didn't know what I was saying about them because of course NONE of them know Al Bhed.

"Hey Tidus, you're learning Al Bhed right? Did you understand anything we were saying?" I asked, I wanted to know, I really did, but there is a small bit of me that wanted to be all "Tidus you'll never REALLY know Al Bhed like we do, but just a tiny bit.

He looked a little sheepish, "uh, you were talking too fast… I couldn't hear half of it and make it out. I heard our names a couple times… could you guys speak Spiran so we know if you're talking about us?" HAH! I knew it! Aki beside me laughed so did I. It got contagious we stopped just like giggling/sniggering and started laughing out loud, then I guess we started what you would call… guffawing. I don't know! That whole laughing so hard tears come to your eyes thing. Now everyone was staring. Why? People aren't allowed to laugh anymore?

"What is going on?" Lulu asked. She was looking a little annoyed, though it is Lulu, when is she not annoyed? Actually everyone looked a little annoyed at least Lulu, Wakka, and Auron. Yuna had a "isn't that sweet?" Look on her face. Tidus just looked confused. Kimahri, actually I couldn't tell what he was feeling.

"I don't know," Aki said, and they all discover he CAN speak Spiran. I wonder if they knew… "I think we're just laughing to laugh."

"Well that's stupid, ya," said, who else but Wakka, I mean who else has that accent? Oh yeah, half the guys on Besaid. I'll never be able to stay there for too long.

"We have no time for this," Auron said. He didn't look just annoyed he looked absolutely… pissed.

We made camp for the night right smack dab in the middle of the Calm Lands. Night had fallen, and we gathered around a fire. We were all gathered in small groups of course Aki and I were talking together.

I don't remember how It came to this he started copying me. "Stop doing that!"

"Stop doing that!" He copied.

I stuck out my tongue at him. He stuck his out at me. I shoved him. He shoved me.

I was getting REALLY annoyed, like super duper amazingly annoyed. This was war. I also owed him for tackling me earlier today. So I tackled him.

"What was that for?" He yelled at me.

"What was that for?" I mimicked. HAH! In your face Aki HAHAHAHA! In your face I win! Everyone was probably looking at us again. It was worth it though cos I won!

"HAH!" I yelled at him

"HAH" oh crap… I should have predicted this. He is in the lead again.

So I responded in the only way I knew how, I kissed him. Then… he kissed me back.

"Darn you Aki!" He was still copying me. He kissed me back again. Well I won. I'm not going to say anything about it though or else he will win again.

I stood up and helped him up from where I tackled him to the ground. "Seriously, I get it, you win, but why did you tackle me to the ground?" He asked, his eyes a little hurt.

"Why did you tackle me earlier?" I asked, "I was making us even." I said I shrugged a little and smiled.

"Yah but then you almost knocked me out! We were already even!" He was getting agitated.

"Oh shut up" I said and shoved him not too hard, I was tired of helping him up from the ground he needed to get a better balance.

"I know one way to shut me up," he said waggling his eyebrows. That was a joke, he's not a perverted creep or anything like that. I've known him forever and he's not. I giggled (not in an obnoxiously sweet girly way) but obliged his request. We were there for like, a minute.

We broke apart and I glance at the group. They were staring at us, but trying to be discreet about it though. They had some manners I guess. I saw Auron looking at us again, and he was looking very annoyed again. Was he against all happiness? I say a look in his eye, it flashed for a second.

Was I mistaken or was it… jealousy? That's weird! Hey I annoyed him without trying! I'm the best. I in fact rule all; well my dad is the leader of the Al Bhed that should give me some power right? Oh well…

**A/N: I'm a little proud of this chapter, I know I hate OC's too but it was necessary. I didn't want Gippal to be her boyfriend. Aki will be gone next chapter, unless people are all, who cares about Auron, stay with Aki! (Which I doubt) I will. I will request two things, not reviews (I'm going to stop doing that) one anyone know a good Beta reader and two, anyone have any goof of ideas to annoy Auron? **

**Thanks! Bye!**


End file.
